Quietly Continuing

 I used to think New Year reflections had to be loud - big wins, bold declarations, dramatic reinventions. This year, mine is quieter. And maybe truer.

I enter this new year softer, but stronger in ways that don’t always show.

2025 didn’t teach me how to conquer the world.

It taught me how to stay.

Healing, I learned, isn’t cinematic. It doesn’t arrive with background music or a standing ovation. Most days, it looked like breathing through the hard moments, choosing not to disappear, and showing up -especially on days when retreat felt easier.

There were seasons I survived on autopilot.

Moments when faith wasn’t a proclamation but a whisper: Just get through today.

And that had to be enough.

After more than three decades in theatre - where everything is amplified, projected, performed - I had to relearn how to be human offstage. No script. No applause cue. Just truth. Just breath. Just one more day.

I’m still a work in progress.

Some days, peace visits briefly. Other days, it feels like an ongoing rehearsal with missed cues and awkward pauses. But I’ve learned not to rush the process. Even rehearsals matter. Especially rehearsals.

What grounded me this year wasn’t ambition - it was purpose.

And at the center of that purpose is my daughter.

She remains my reason for choosing life, hope, and tomorrow - even when the days felt unbearably long.

So when I say I’m praying for the next 525,600 minutes, it’s not poetic math. It’s survival math. It’s hope measured in minutes instead of milestones. And if I’m blessed to live through them, I hope to use those minutes to make someone else’s life a little lighter, a little kinder, a little more bearable.

As 2026 begins, I don’t carry grand resolutions.

I carry acceptance.

I release myself from the illusion of control and resign to whatever unfolds next. I am done demanding answers from the dark. If this is the road laid out before me, then I will walk it - worn down, quieter, and stripped of certainty. Still, I pray. Not with confidence, not with expectations, but with a tired hope that the days ahead will hurt less than the ones I’ve already survived.

This is not a comeback story.

This is a staying story.

And for now, staying is the bravest thing I know how to do.