Perhaps This Is Why I Survived

After 2 years and 5 months of doing “voluntary” counselor work in school while being the Admin Officer, I can finally say it officially: starting today, I am the school’s Counselor. 😊

Funny thing is, this journey started long before the title became official.

I spent six years as a Guidance Counselor at a state university. But in 2007, after compassion fatigue and the emotional weight of the work, I thought I was done. I gave away my books and notes, gave up two licenses - because I truly believed I would never return to counseling.

Then came 2021 - my second chance at life.

I still don't know all the reasons I was given that chance. But perhaps this is one of them.

Perhaps there are still people I need to reach, stories I need to hear, and lives I can make a little lighter.

This December marks my 10th year in DepEd. I probably won't be here for another decade. But while I am here, I want to give what I can.

And when this chapter eventually ends, I hope I can look back and know that I left the school, and the people I journeyed with, a little better than I found them.

Maybe my life was spared not only so I could keep living, but so I could keep giving.

And if, somewhere along the way, I can help someone find one more reason to keep going—

then perhaps this second chance was worth it. 🤍

One student at a time.

One life at a time.

One more tomorrow at a time.

Placed, Not Displaced

Two years.

It still feels strange to say that out loud.

After 7 years, 3 months, and 15 days in the Division Office - a place that slowly became home in ways I didn’t even realize - I found myself starting over. It took time to belong there, to find my rhythm, to carve out a space where I knew I mattered. And just when it finally felt like home… I was asked to leave it.

Not out of loss, but out of purpose.

The transition wasn’t easy. New faces. New systems. New demands. And that quiet question that lingers in every new beginning: “Do I even fit here?”

But two years into Science High, something has become clearer.

Maybe I was meant to be moved.

Because here, the need feels different. Wider. Louder in its silence. Seen in the eyes of students searching for direction, in colleagues carrying unseen burdens, in moments that don’t make it to reports but stay with you long after the day ends.

And in those moments, I realized - being needed isn’t about where you were most comfortable. It’s about where you can make the most difference.

I may have left a place I called home, but I stepped into a place where I can help build one for others.

And maybe that’s the point of it all.

Not to stay where we are known, but to go where we are needed.

Two years later, I’m still finding my place.

But this time, I’m not just settling in -

I’m showing up.

Comfort in the Uncomfortable

 I thought I knew what growth looked like.

When I made the decision to leave SciHi, I honestly believed I was stepping into discomfort - the kind that stretches, challenges, and perhaps heals. I thought that leaving would refresh my mind and spirit, that maybe a new environment could breathe life into the parts of me that were growing tired and heavy. I imagined that taking the risk would pull me forward, out of survival and into renewal.

But life has a way of offering clarity only in hindsight.

Had I gone to the state university, I would have found myself back in HR again - familiar work, familiar structure, familiar comfort. A different building, a new set of faces, better compensation, yes - but still a space I already understood and could navigate with ease. I realized later that what I thought was the braver path might have been the easier one.

SciHi, for all its chaos, pressure, and unpredictability, is where I am tested. It is where I am stretched beyond what I thought possible. It is where I grow, not because things are easy, but because every day asks more of me - not just as an educator or part of administration, but as a human being. I find comfort there sometimes, not because it is comfortable, but because it forces me to evolve.

It is strange - how the place that exhausts you is the same place that shapes you.

How the struggle you want to escape is the very furnace that forges you.

And so I stay, not because I have found peace, but because I am still becoming.

In a world that tells us comfort is the goal, I am learning this:

Growth rarely lives where everything is soft.

Sometimes, the truest comfort comes from the place that keeps us awake, alive, and unfinished.

Yes, I stay. For now.

The Invitation to Leave That Led Me Back to Myself

There was a time when I was running on fumes - high-functioning depression hidden behind a smile and a pile of responsibilities. I was frustrated because no matter how hard I tried, I felt I wasn’t really helping my students or colleagues the way they needed. And in the moments I needed help myself, the people I thought were friends suddenly weren’t there. They disappeared - ghosted me - when all I wanted was someone to talk to.

On top of that, I had to take on tasks and responsibilities no one taught me to handle. Add personal battles and health concerns, and everything felt too heavy, too loud, too overwhelming.

Then out of nowhere, a job posting from a state university appeared. They were hiring an AO IV. Something in me whispered, maybe this is the change I need. Maybe this was the universe giving me a way out - or a way forward.

I applied last September. Got the acknowledgment email… then silence.

Every year, for my birthday, I take a leave on the day itself, plus the day before and after. It’s my little ritual: church, coffee, walking around the mall alone. A quiet reset from the noise of everything.

And last November - just before my birthday - I received two emails. Out of the blue. Scheduling me for exams and an interview. And guess what? Both landed exactly on the days I was on leave. Was it a sign? A cosmic wink? Or just a very welcome coincidence?

I took the three standardized tests. I went to the panel interview and honestly had a blast - even though they started so late I thought the universe was trolling me. I felt confident. Hopeful. Excited.

Then they asked for additional documents. And that excitement grew even more because it finally felt real: the possibility of a new environment where I could be me again - fully, unapologetically. A place where I could start fresh. And yes, a higher salary that would mean so much for my family.

But then something unexpected happened. Despite the momentum, despite the anticipation, despite how much I wanted this… the feeling shifted. The urge - the pull toward this new path - quieted down. I don’t even know how to explain it, except that it just didn’t feel right anymore.

And so, long story already long, here’s the short of it:

For now, I’m staying with DepEd. With Science High. With the students and the work that still somehow tug at my heart even on the hardest days.

And today - of all days - happens to be my 9th year in DepEd. Coincidence?

Do you believe in destiny?

Do you believe in signs?

In serendipity?

Because sometimes, the universe doesn’t always open the door you’re meant to walk through…

but it gives you just enough light to remind you where you still belong.

What Life Has Taught Me So Far (44 Lessons)

Sharing the most important things I've learned the past 44 years.

These lessons didn’t come from winning. They came from struggle, from quiet breakdowns, from days I wasn’t sure I’d recover.🤟🏽

If these 44 lessons bring comfort to someone walking through their own shadows, then every difficult moment had meaning.🙏🏼

A Chapter Called Integrity

A new dawn has come.

The sun rises again over Cebu.

This time, may it rise for everyone.

Not just shine, but burn with purpose.

Not just promise, but lead with integrity.

A new chapter begins.

Let it not be another story.

We’ve heard enough.

Let it be real change.🙏🏼

Me, After the Pause

It’s been three years since I last blogged.

My journey with blogging began in 2009 - on and off for about 13 years. That space held everything and anything about my life. I started it in the hope that someday, my daughter would read it and understand who I was, especially when I’m no longer around.

I never thought I’d return to blogging. But here I am.

This time, I’m letting go of the old and embracing a new perspective. A quiet rebirth.

Because the truth is, I’ve lived more in the last five years than I did in the previous forty. And with that, comes the need to tell new stories.

To you who's reading this - welcome, and thank you.

Let’s see where this takes us.

Chase time with me.